SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN Review

Kristen Stewart is painfully miscast in this dark new vision of the Snow White fairy tale. There's a lot going wrong with our leading lady. In "Snow White and the Huntsman," she plays the title heroine all heavy sighs and mouth breathing. It's described that not only is Snow White the fairest of them all, she is also full of heart, energy and spirit -- all things Stewart's performance is not. She flat-out doesn't fit the role, and one must wonder if the actress ever will be able to escape "Twilight" mode.

This marks the first feature film from British commercial director Rupert Sanders, and he does deliver on his promise of taking the Snow White legend to its most sinister and harshest extreme. This is a brave re-imagining of the fairy tale, and the exact opposite of earlier this year's "Mirror Mirror." Visually speaking, the movie is a stunner with sceneries that are both bleak and gorgeous. Take the Dark Forest for example full of haunting creatures and deep fog, all which contrasts perfectly with an enchanting fairyland Snow White is later led to. This locale is full of lush greens and woodland creatures no doubt in tribute to Disney's 1937 classic animated film.

The film kicks off with a background story about the Evil Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) who married Snow White's father only to murder him and gain rights to the throne. This left young Snow White locked in a tower for years with her evil stepmother ruling as a ruthless and maniacal queen hated by all in the land. And now that Snow White is mature, she poses the only threat to Queen Ravenna's rule and requires her dead. All very intriguing, but it's once Snow White makes her escape when the storyline slams into a standstill. What the screenplay suffers from is a distinct slog in pacing.

The queen sends out the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to seek out Snow White in the Dark Woods, apprehend her and bring her back to the castle. The strong, mead-guzzling hero swings an ax like nobody's business and upon finding Snow White, he realizes whose side he should be on and decides to help her defeat the queen. There's another man in the tale, as well; Snow White's childhood love named Prince William (Sam Claflin). The love triangle becomes apparent, and yet nothing comes of it. The relationship between any of these pivotal characters is left frustratingly ambiguous to the point of being completely moot.

Charlize Theron's snarling, vicious queen is by far the movie's biggest selling point. With a tall, spiked iron crown and ominous gowns, she brings a violent charge to even silent, simmering moments. And while she mostly triumphs, her yelling fits do tend to feel strained. When she asks her precious mirror on the wall -- a cloaked golden figure -- who's the fairest of them all, and it's Stewart over Theron, you can't help but wonder who paid him to say that. This is also a Snow White who's meant to rouse a kingdom to action, donning a suit of armor upon a white steed to lead a charge to the castle. This Joan of Arc replica is all the more unconvincing played by Stewart.

And we can't forget our dwarves, eight of them in this version. These aren't the kind of dwarves you'll be expecting, especially once you notice they're played by notable actors including the likes of Nick Frost, Eddie Marsan, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones and Ray Winstone. Through the magic of CGI, they are shrunken down to size and put into character. Yet I couldn't help but think how casting these gentleman rid real life acting dwarfs potential work. Isn't that discrimination?

If you could take the visual spectacle of "Snow White and the Huntsman" on its own accord, the film would act wonderfully as a breathtaking, fantasy epic poem. But at just over two hours, there has to be some acting and characterization accounted for. It's a harsh lesson both the evil queen and the movie should've took to heart: looks aren't everything.

THE AVENGERS Review

Marvel's "The Avengers" gives us much, much more of the same we've come to expect from all the Marvel movies of years past. It has basically become its own genre even outside of the superhero genre. What keeps this from becoming a clustered onslaught of big personalities all coming together into a bloated mess is the real hero of the party: writer/director Joss Whedon. He brings a fanboy enthusiasm to the massive blockbuster and gives audiences exactly what they want.

Much in the way he helped write "The Cabin in the Woods," which turned the horror genre on its head, here he does something similar. He thwarts our expectations while winking at us all the way with his tongue firmly placed in cheek. "The Avengers," believe it or not, is in many instances hilarious. The humor Whedon brings to the table is a quirky surprise and really makes the movie. The one-liners are countless with a unique self-knowing comic book brand of wit and snark. With this, Whedon very well may have given the Marvel movies their own new flavor. It's like the playful polar opposite of the wealth of emotional pathos Christopher Nolan achieves with his "Dark Knight" franchise.

With six superheros gracing the screen, it's never too much with each one getting his or her own time to shine. Remember, though, there is lots of homework before diving in. You'll have to have already seen "Thor," "Captain America" and "Iron Man 2" to get the idea of what's going on. There are the familiar faces: Chris Hemsworth as Thor from the mystical realm of Asgard swinging his mighty hammer; Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, who's a genius millionaire with an amazing suit of armor; and Chris Evans as the first avenger Captain America who was frozen over time and has recently thawed to join a new decade.

Then there are the less familiar faces -- those who either received only cameos or haven't even been introduced yet. First there's the new Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk, played by Mark Ruffalo. Simply forget Ang Lee's "Hulk" or that newer one with Edward Norton, "The Incredible Hulk," ever existed because this newest iteration from Ruffalo is the real deal. Two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents finish the team, including Natasha, aka Black Widow (Scarlett Johannsson), and the powerful arrow-wielding Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). They  all report to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). This is an organization whose purpose is vague -- perhaps just to protect the planet, or something.

The Avengers are assembled because of a new threat from Thor's villainous adopted brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who controls the Tesseract, a cube of energy that can open a hole in the universe. With it, Loki plans on unleashing his horde of flying reptilian-machine monsters on Earth. The duration between the introduction of this evil plan and the Avengers actually going out to stop it is a lot within the two-and-a-half hour running time. Within this gap, though, is plenty of opportunities to watch as the six heroes banter, bicker and form camaraderie. These interactions between our Avengers is when Whedon works to surprise us. The only problem is that he goes for the heavier stuff, too, which falls flat. In between the jokes he gives his characters existential crises to chew on, but it feels like dramatic fodder for the sake of dramatic fodder. Do we honestly care about Loki's threat? Nah. We just want to watch the Hulk playfully sock Thor in the face again.

The twiddling of your thumbs becomes worth it, however, once the final climactic battle set in Manhattan gets set up. This 45-minute barrage of swift, thrilling, exuberant action and CGI is an absolute knockout. And it looks phenomenal, too. The colors are bright, the effects are big and brassy, and it's a concluding set piece that is worth the price of admission alone -- and perhaps even worth the 3D.

For all the hype and anticipation surrounding this whiz-bang superhero conglomerate, Joss Whedon delivers the goods. In a sense, this massive Marvel outing is the beginning all over again. Just when we thought this might be the big finish for Marvel, instead it acts as a kickstarter to a whole new strain of Marvel movies. And quite honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS Review

Don't let anyone ruin this one for you. Not even the TV spots and trailers for "The Cabin in the Woods" can prepare you for what's coming. Written by Joss Whedon (creator of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer") and Drew Goddard (who penned "Cloverfield"), also serving as first-time director, these two long-time collaborators take the slasher flick genre and turn it absolutely on its head. They take every trope you can imagine, chop them up, throw them in a blender, mix them all around and serve them to us in what can only be described as maniacal and mischievous. Part "Evil Dead," part "Truman Show" and part "Scream," this experiment in mechanics and deconstruction is also one hundred percent nuts.

We begin with five archetypal characters heading out for a weekend of sleazy, carefree fun in some backwoods cabin. There's Curt the jock (Chris Hemsworth of "Thor"), Jules the slut (Anna Hutchison), Holden the nerd (Jesse Williams), Marty the pothead (Fran Kranz) and Dana the virgin (Kristen Connolly). The last stop before reaching the cabin is an abandoned gas station inhabited by a creepy old man warning them of the terrors that lies ahead. Of course, they ignore him and press on.

It turns out this old man is the first piece in a twisted test being conducted by a lab of scientists -- headed by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford with a demented sense of humor. These guys push levers and turn dials to manipulate the scenario adding different storytelling elements to see how their characters will react, witness what decisions they'll make.

Think I've spoiled something for you? Think again. This is just the beginning. From here things get out of control. Not to mention a little too cocky. Self-aware cleverness and self-reflexive humor are characteristics that can get too overbearing, and that is exactly the case with Whedon and Goddard here. They're toying with the audience, but toward the end something happens -- something crazy -- and when it clicks in, you have to decide how far you're willing to go down the rabbit hole. I won't go into more detail because any spoiler would completely botch the experience of seeing it for yourself.

What I will say is this: it makes a devilish transformation. Beneath the apparent ingenuity and originality lurks something cruel and uncomfortable. It gives off the air of being something more than it really is. The initial joke is defeated later by nonsensical chaos, which is grisly fun but not brilliant. "The Cabin in the Woods" is the movie equivalent of a one-night stand. It's fine for a quick and dirty mindfuck, but you don't really know how it leaves you feeling afterward.

THOR Review

"Thor" (2011)

It's almost impossible to watch "Thor" without taking into consideration its inevitable sequel as well as the inevitable Marvel collaboration that will soon be "The Avengers" movie next summer. It gives me a headache just thinking about the saturation of Marvel we've been experiencing because of it.

That being said, here we are at the next installment, "Thor," which is pretty good and self-aware enough where we can have some fun. Take for example the elusive government organization SHIELD led by actor Clark Gregg, the same organization from "Iron Man." When a hulking fire-shooting metal monster beams itself down to Earth, they even ask if this is the work of Tony Stark.

"Thor" doesn't have the "wow" factor the first "Iron Man" did, but director Kenneth Branagh does an admirable job of simply not screwing it up. It's clunky source material to work with anyway. Adapting from a character originally introduced in 1962, Thor is the hammer-wielding Norse god who lives in a realm called Asgard which resembles a gold-plated version of Viking living. The movie opens with a rather unfortunate prologue narrated by the King of Asgard (Anthony Hopkins) and is filled with mythology and special effects that'll have your eyes bugging out of your head. The gist is this: King Odin and his wife Queen Frigga (a haggard-looking Rene Russo) must choose an heir to the throne between their two sons, the hot-headed titular character Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and his brother, the squirrelly Loki (Tom Hiddleston).

Thor's blood thirst for revenge takes him to a neighboring planet where the Frost Giants reside. After they breached security in Asgard, Thor goes with his posse against his father's orders to confront the Frost Giants and end the feud once and for all. Due to his reckless behavior, Thor gets banished by his father to the Earth realm where he lands in New Mexico in a swirling storm cloud. And from here the more engaging part of the movie unfolds.

The Norse god fish-out-of-water tale is the most engaging part because Branagh's sharpest tool is an apt sense of humor. Chris Hemsworth as Thor really hams it up speaking in formal King's English declaring he needs sustenance and shattering his cup on the ground when it's empty just for the sake of shattering his cup on the ground. Aussie actor Hemsworth--the blond hunk that he is with rippling muscles and a winning grin--is the perfect fit for Thor combining just the right amount of brawn and self-mockery to make his hero charismatic enough for us to care about.

Accompanying Hemsworth is Oscar winner Natalie Portman who's radiant and charming as an astrophysicist who comes across Thor--and actually hits him with her car...twice. She takes an interest in Thor because she's been studying natural phenomenon, and he was directly involved with one. If only she knew of Thor's true origins, but then comes the weird moment when all the characters on Earth go from flabbergasted and refusing to believe it into submissive acceptance. I guess what other choice did they have? The other members of her scientific team, Stellan Skarsgard and Kat Dennings, are great and funny. There isn't much of a plot on Earth aside from Thor reclaiming his mighty hammer, but I found these sequences to have the most energetic wit and rollicking fun. Back in Asgard, it's about family coming-of-age drama and numbing action sequences in a world that is hardly fully realized. We have swooshing panning shots of the glorious Asgard but never really interact with it.

Taking into consideration Branagh's use of silliness and Hemsworth's effective performance, "Thor" works for what it is; that is, another entertaining stepping stone toward Marvel's plan to completely dominate Hollywood. And looking at this summer's line-up of movies, it looks like they're just about there.